It wasn't until my family finally turned their back on me and I found myself asking a friend to take me to the red light area to get some money for crack that it hit me. It would just carry on getting worse and worse and lower and lower. I was so desperate to stop all the pain I felt I had caused. Coming to the Ley was the scariest thing I have ever done. I just had no idea how my future was going to be - the only thing I knew was that it was going to be the hardest thing I had ever done. I really struggled for the first few months - craving drugs and trying to convince myself it hadn't been that bad so that I could run back to drugs.

Sometimes I don't know how, but I stayed. Something inside just kept me hanging on: people here were living proof that it can be done. So I just hung on to that, and used their support and experience. I've been here six months and it's not a struggle to be here now. I've had a lot of brilliant times here - it's true what someone said to me - recovering junkies are magical people. The main thing I've got out of being here is an understanding of why I lost so much self-respect that I pumped drugs into my body every day for years.

And now that I understand it I can move away from the unhappy person that I was. I've got the support of my family back and I'm starting to feel like an independent woman rather than a confused, frightened child.

One year ago I was in Holloway. I came to the Ley on probation and didn't plan on staying long. Now I'm glad I did. For the past 12 years I'd spent every day being a junkie. When I came here I began to see my life for what it was - CRAP. I needed this time out to take a look at myself and my past and work out how I ended up here. It's been tough here - the jail sentence would have been the soft option. It's hard to change and easy to slip back into what we've always done and known. Living by the Ley's rules, taking responsibility for my actions, and being one of a small number of women (although this is changing) has been difficult but it's been worth it.

I feel like I've come a long way. I trust the people around me, I've made some good friends, made up with my family, and most of all I've got self-respect. It is all too much to lose now. I'm looking for work at the moment. Living straight is something I've never done. I see it as a challenge and I'm looking forward to getting out there and giving it my best.

How do you put into words a life which was chaotic and going downhill fast? We all have our different opinions of rock bottom. Mine was heroin, prison, ex-boyfriend and the lengths I'd go for one hit. When I came here, I'd just come from prison after doing six months on remand for drug offences. I was still in a relationship, my head was confused, I couldn't carry on using, it was time to face reality and grow up. I was fooling myself that things weren't too bad and I could cope, but realistically how bad did I need to get?

There was one possible outcome left which I hadn't had yet ....... death.

This is where I seriously questioned myself. After six weeks of being here, I realised my relationship was doomed. Living with a dealer wasn't doing me any favours. I was looking over my shoulder paranoid of getting busted, or when I might say something wrong and get a slap from him. So I ended it - my first positive step forward. I talked about my past experiences, my fears and struggles and life became easier - that famous saying 'a problem shared is a problem halved' isn't wrong.

I've been here six months now and feel happy and able to cope with everyday things. I'm not saying life's a bed of roses, but it's definitely a 90% improvement from a year ago, and to be honest, not feeling sick when I wake up gives me a reason to carry on. All I want is my life back, and here I can get it.

I came to the Ley three months ago and my advice to anyone who's thinking about sorting their life out is to give it a try. I had no confidence and I was a total mess when I came. I couldn't believe how nice the residents were. Everyone takes time out for each other - it's a really good place. I took amphetamines (whizz) for 8 years and it totally messed my life up. My family disowned me, I had no friends, got sent to jail for crimes to feed my habit. It was the last chance with the courts: I was lucky to get it to sort my life out. In these 3 months my opinions changed.

It's not because I was going back to jail if I didn't stay here - it was at first, but now I'm here for myself. I've gained a lot in these 3 months: confidence, a good relationship with my family, and I've met some really good friends.

There are 7 women here and we could do with more. I'd be lying if I said it was easy, but it's worth it. What have you got to lose?

Take a risk - I did, and it's the best thing I could have ever done.

I have been a resident at the Ley Community for three months and I can honestly say that by coming here I saved my own life.

I got involved with drugs when I was 18 years old. It was 1988 and the 'E' scene was kicking. For five years my life was a blur of clubs, raves and parties. Ecstasy, amphetamines and trips were the norm - I was enjoying myself. But then I got involved with heroin. I was an addict from the first day I took it. I just didn't realise it then, no matter who told me or tried to help. The last 6 years have been hell on earth. I progressed from the foil and onto the needle, something I never thought would happen to me. It was something I never thought I'd do. Not me. I come from a good, middle class family and I have always been financially secure. I thought I was different, that the horror of the 'HEROIN KILLS' posters, the pale, spotty face with black shadows under the eyes, were not related to me. They were all sad junkies. I just used and could control it. What a joke.

One thing I've learned from being at the Ley Community is that no one can control it. It may take a year or it may take 10 but it will get you in the end. I live here with 50 of the strongest people I have ever met and we all have one thing in common. The drugs beat us all. No one could control it. I juggled my life, 2 children, and a husband who used, for 6 years and for 5 of those I managed to hold it all together pretty well. But one day it all changed. The life I was living caught up with me and I ended up in prison. I did 5 months in Holloway and I'm not ashamed to say it was a horrific experience. I came out and went straight back on the gear. I started to use crack then and the end came really fast. I lost my children, my home went next and my marriage became a non-stop tale of violence and abuse. That wasn't supposed to happen. I lost all control over my life. I was so scared, and the only way to survive, to deal with it, was to take more gear, pipe after pipe. I stopped going out, I became a recluse. I didn't care what I looked like. All I cared about was the drugs.

And one night I panicked. I knew I was dying, it's as plain as that. The only way I could afford any more drugs was to go on the game. Prostitution - the end of the road. But I couldn't and wouldn't do it. It was time to make the decision to stop. It was a hard decision to make, admitting that the horror had finally happened to me. But I took a stand. I thought 'no way'- this is going to stop. I went to a local drug centre and was completely honest. I told them how my life was and where it was going. I asked them to help me help myself.

And that's what I've done. I came here and I've been clean now for 3 months. I still can't believe it myself. I'm happy here. It's hard work but it's definitely worth it. I'm not scared any more. I have a future now. I can be anything I want to be. And I owe it all to this place, the Ley Community, and the special people I have met here, people just like me. My friends.